i wish you would stand still. i wish i had the ability to rewind you. you seem to go by so fast. i blink and you are gone. i look back and wish for a moment of you to return. moments of happiness and joy. those moments seem so few and far between for me. i spend lots of you alone and thinking. thinking of how my life is and how i thought it would be. thinking of the greatness others have and i do not. thinking of how disappointed i am in myself. thinking about what i should have done instead of what i did. wishing i could go back to high school. make better decisions in academics. make the decision to go to college. make the decision for a career path. time ... if i only used you wisely. i never thought at 17 that i would be 32 one day. 32 living a life that i dreamed would be different. at 17, you were on my side. now i feel like you are against me.
very passing day there is less of you in my life. i understand the moments that passed cannot be given back. the decisions i made with those moments cannot be changed. i just hope i get the courage to change future moments of you to live a happier life.
-B
